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Another Philosophic Sort of Post

December 7, 2009
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A lot of good friends have recently mentioned that they think I have a natural talent for applying makeup, and sort of putting a “look” together. I’m not sure I wholly believe them, but it is something I enjoy, and they said — well, why not try to become a makeup artist? And I thought, well, my life is going nowhere fast, and this is something I could do and enjoy. So I’ll be applying to Sephora counters as well as the department stores (though I understand that involves time in the other departments) in the hopes of gaining some more experience. I’ve really sort of affixed a lot of hope to this idea, and so I hope it does work out. I’m great at customer service, and I think it could be fun (most of the time). Meantime I’ve been watching makeup artist videos on YouTube and reading up over at Model Mayhem and a few other sites.

I had therapy today, and my therapist mentioned that she’d noticed me wearing makeup to the past few sessions. Until then I’d really been too mired in depression to be arsed about it, and she’s never really seen me “put together.” It was interesting to me because she felt that I looked more like my authentic self now than when I am being a slob about my appearance, and I think she’s right. Or, at least, I feel more like the real me — whatever that is, I’m still working it out — when I look nice. I’ve sort of got this internal argument going on, wherein part of me says “pretty pretty gumdrops yay!” and another part says “do you realize how horribly shallow you are?” So I’m to think about what aesthetics and beauty can contribute to the world at large, and maybe start to value my own interests a bit more.

Meanwhile, I’m frustrated with my current weight; I wish there were a shortcut back to where I was a few years ago, but there isn’t, and so I’ll just have to sort of wait to wear the clothes that are my real motivation here.

Thanks for bearing with this bit of rambling. I think I’ll have a FOTD for you tomorrow; I got lots of new makeup from a friend, and I can’t wait to play with it some more. There’s MUFE Aqua Eyes in there!

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Ralph M. permalink
    December 17, 2009 4:48 pm

    Wearing makeup does NOT make you shallow. It’s all all about attitude. I know people who wear make-up and are quite fashionable (some are even models) who I would NEVER consider to be shallow in a million years. It’s all in your attitude and how you present yourself to other people. If you come off as a snotty bitch who seems full of themselves, people will treat you as such. If you come off as a genuinely decent person people will just add the looking good part as a perk to your already awesome personality. 🙂

  2. December 17, 2009 5:50 pm

    Well of course I’m a snotty bitch, Ralph. You should know that! lol

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