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Fat Fashion, Your Thyroid, and You

December 9, 2008

So uh. It’s not really general knowledge, but Z and I have been trying to conceive, as it were, for a little over a year now. With obvs no success.  So a couple of weeks ago, I caved in and went to an OB/GYN (Elizabeth Shadigian, if you’re looking in SE Michigan). As it turns out, her office is more like… a spa, or something, and I couldn’t say enough good things about her, but this is a fashion blog and you didn’t come here to read about speculi or whatever.

Here is the point. She ordered a blood panel and lots of various and sundry tests for me, so we could see what’s up. And what’s up is my TSH, which means my thyroid is underactive. So the hair loss? And the almost total inability to lose weight? And the fatigue? Yeah, my puny thyroid probably has contributed to all of those things. I started medication for it today, which means: Things will improve. And it’s almost a sure thing that I will lose weight; the doctor’s opinion is that it will be a fair bit of weight. Which is, you know, awesome. I am all for fat acceptance but I am not comfortable in my own skin, right now.

Anyway, I got all my clothes from Avenue the other day via UPS, and they all fit perfectly although a couple of the shirts are slightly large — but not so that I look like I’m wearing a shapeless sack large. So now I’m like, dammit, I finally got a winter wardrobe I like, and now I’m going to lose weight and none of it is going to fit. And then hopefully I’ll be pregnant and NOTHING will fit. See, this is why clothes make me crazy. CRAZY!

I’ve promised myself I will learn to sew, and then maybe I can just make clothes out of old sheets. I like to look good but I think the expectation for wardrobe and appearance for women is just kind of ridiculous… am I out in left field, here? Like, I’m expected to own so much clothing to “look good” and if I go out in a reindeer sweater or something it’s like a disaster. And I do feel… ashamed and weird, in public, when I’m wearing stupid clothes. But why is it so important? With the economy in the toilet, I guess it just seems extra-frivolous to spend so much effort and money just to keep up appearances. And yet, here I am. ??? is about all I can say.

Oh, also? Some of you may recall I found my brown cowboy boots, which I like a lot and which were previously comfortable. I haven’t worn them much since I broke my foot, but I did the other day and yeah. Couldn’t walk after about an hour of wearing them and my foot screamed at me for a few days after. I’m thinking any kind of heel is now out for me if I’m doing anything besides sitting in a chair. Anyone know where I can get a nice, not too expensive, wide-calf pair of flat heel, leather, brown boots? Plain or with buckles only, and I’d like to be able to wear them atop my pants. Sigh.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. December 10, 2008 1:42 pm

    I think you’re just anti-fashion right now because it makes you feel better about wearing a Reindeer sweater in public.

    Just kidding, it’s totally ridiculous the way that women are “supposed” to look… and even tougher for us not twig-skinny gals.

    I’m paring down to like 4 pairs of pants and a handful of shirts…. have you heard of the little brown dress project?

  2. jolie permalink
    December 10, 2008 5:51 pm

    until the last few years, i’ve been pretty out there with fashion, but even now, what i wear isn’t particularly fashionable; it’s overall rather boring. no matter what, though, whether i looked like a total freak or managed to blend in with the passing-for-fashionables, i felt better about myself when i felt like i looked good. if my clothes fit me well, i looked “put together”, and i looked like i made an effort, i felt good! i think it’s less about how you compare to other people and more about whether or not you’re pleased with your appearance. if you think all of your clothes are last resort clothes, then no matter how much you spend on them or how fashion-forward they are, you will not feel good about yourself.

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